My mother-in-law told me that a successful parent works herself out of a job. It’s so true! I’m seeing it now with my daughter. She no longer needs me to tie her shoes, pick out her clothes, or pack her lunch. Yes, I can still do those things — but if the goal is to teach her how to become a contributing member of society, the first step is to teach her how to become a contributing member of our household. My son is no longer a baby either. He is only three years old yet he wants to do everything — everything — himself. Sometimes that is hard for me to accept, especially when I can do something faster without him.
The book What a Son Needs From His Mom reminded me to stop and consider what my actions say to my son when I say, “Just let me do it.” Am I instilling confidence in him? Am I teaching him that he’s worthy of time and effort? Do I build his self-worth? Although many of the points made in this book are for moms of older boys, it still has value in my early years of raising a son. After all, the early years are the formative years for his personality. My son can be the most exasperating child that I’ve ever met, and yet I would walk into fire to save him. Why wouldn’t I also take the time to pray for him, to listen to him, and to understand him?
My mother-in-law is that kind of mom. She raised two sons and knows their every strength and every weakness. My husband still seeks his mother’s guidance and support. He’s not a mama’s boy in the unhealthy sense. He just trusts her advice and experience. I want to be that kind of mother to my children. What a Son Needs From His Mom is helping me learn how to teach my children (not just my son) to take flight into the world and succeed.
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